It’s hard for me to sit down and try to sum-up my Father’s life and what he meant to me, how do you distil a whole life of love, care, instruction, laughter joy and heartache into a few pages.

So I won’t. Instead what I will try and do is give a sense of the man I knew as Dad.

As far back as I can remember Dad was always doing something. He couldn’t sit still and gaze into space or while away hours in books, he had to be doing something practical; whether that was growing vast quantities of plants for no apparent reason, washing a car that I thought was hardly dirty, painting a house that clearly didn’t need painting but looked just fine to me or out doing jobs for friends, neighbours or just about anyone who asked…he was always doing something.
Not to say that as a child or teenager I was neglected, far from it. If there was something I wanted to do Dad would be happy to support and enable me. From swimming at the local bath’s, target rifle shooting with a local club, athletics with the local team and countless Disco’s with my best friend Keith going just about anywhere within a 30 mile radius – Dad was willing to take me, support me, bring me home again and generally be there for me no matter what. Even after I had lost total interest in the latest ‘fad’ Dad tried to encourage me not to give it up unless I was absolutely sure I had taken it as far as I could go…which could be really irritating as a boy when you know you were really just lazy. Still, in hindsight and as a Father now myself, I totally understand and thank him for it.

I was amazed at how he could turn his hand to just about anything he tried, fix pretty much anything that went wrong and just know – almost by osmosis – how things worked. I learned much of what I know now about cars, bikes, electric’s, plumbing- most things really from watching and working with Dad. Even in my later life the things he had no input into and were really not his thing like gadgets or computers…it all started with watching him. He had a meticulous and logical mind and approached all jobs with the same planning and consideration, he was like a Hayne’s manual with arms and legs. Once you got it then you realised so long as you followed the pattern you could do it as well. And there was ingenuity – if you didn’t have a tool for a job then there would be something that was nearly the same that you did have and could use. If there wasn’t then you could almost certainly make something that would work from a few bits of Meccano and some sticky back plastic. I know…I’ve seen him do it!

It’s probably the biggest legacy that he left me; this ability to see any job as just a series of steps to be understood and taken carefully – considering the next before you continue and by doing so knowing you are prepared to move on and complete the task. And above all the sense of doing it to the best of your ability, no one then can criticise you for any job you do.

…and what is life if not a series of jobs to be attempted, and hopefully completed…to the best of your ability.

I’m not saying he could do anything. He didn’t really like carpentry but that was probably because his son insisted on cutting rocks and paving stones with his best saw (sorry Dad) and he would NOT, under any circumstances unless it was a hymn, sing the correct words to a song. That’s another lesson I have tried to carry forward into my own life and teach my own two son’s..ha ha, sorry kids.

When it came to me having my own family Dad and Mum were there on hand to offer help and advice. I’m not sure they really had in mind that we would move in for the first year with baby James but hec’..what are parents for I thought. It did however help cement Amanda’s relationship with Mum and Dad and bring us all closer together for the future. When we then eventually got our own place down in Cornwall they would visit and Dad would again bring his practicality to bear..this time building a sandpit in the back garden with the help of a slightly older James. Note how I started them young on picking up “the ways of the Derek”.

There were many family visits after that to Wales where both James and his younger brother Michael would stay and be taken to this theme park or that dinosaur experience (you had to be there to fully appreciate it). All under the watchful and generous care of Granddad and Grandma.

There are other things I am thankful to Dad for…he got me regular jobs every summer at St Matthews hospital that I wasn’t too keen on at the time, but helped me to realise later what work can really look like and care of others can mean. A useful lesson certainly.
He was generous with money and time and effort; that might be obvious from what I have said above but it went far beyond family. It was underpinned by a deep sense of duty, to help and be useful to anyone in need…otherwise “what is the point in this life”. This I think is why he joined the Samaritans for many years and why he would join in with various groups at the Chapel’s he attended, to make a Sunday School room more comfortable or even build one from scratch. He felt children deserved every chance to be all that they could be and after he had tried to do the best for me…he moved logically to the next generation..and the next.

For what is life if not a series of jobs to be attempted, and hopefully completed…to the best of your ability.

So that is it..well not all of it, but the bit of it I am willing to share.
He had so many friends and acquaintances through life and work, he has family in Wife and Daughter, Sister and Grandchildren, he has Nieces, Nephews, Daughter in law, Cousins…on and on the list could go and all would say what a man he was and how the world will be a lesser place without him.

Yes..many people will have their own piece of Derek Ronald Griffiths, but to quote the great Stanley Kubrick
“This is my Derek Griffiths. There are many other experiences of him, but this one is mine.”

Rest well Abba – I’ll see you on the other side.